Common issues parents highlight about their son or daughter:
– “My son never obeys me. He does whatever he wants”
– “My son/daughters tells me I know nothing”.
– “He doesn’t want to study, and he is not passing his exams”
– “He tells me I do not understand them, but he doesn’t want to talk”
– “He closes his door room and doesn’t come out”.
– “His room is a mess”
– “I have to struggle with him to do his homework”
– “I found some condones in his pocket”
– “I think he has girlfriend but he doesn’t want to talk about it or listen”
– “He does not respect the curfew”
– “One day he arrived home, drunk and smelling very strange”
– “He is very shy and introverted”.
– “She goes to bathroom after dinner for a long time. She is getting thinner and thinner and is exercising too much”.
– “She doesn’t have friends, and stays home reading and watching TV. She seems so sad and cries often”.
– “She becomes aggressive, punishes doors and her little brother”.

10 years of experience

In Consulterapia, we have specialized in working with families for more than a decade. Our experience shows that conflictive family dynamics can be resolved with proper profesional accompaniment  

Identity and autonomy: a change for all the family

Many adolescents grow feeling emptiness in their affective needs as well as lack of security. The adolescents are in a stage of their lives where they are struggling to find their autonomy and identity. Consequently, it is common to go through disappointments, mood changes and unordinary behaviors.

There is no stage in the family life that requires more stability that when there is adolescence at home. If parents are going through a vital or marital crisis, they cannot give their children the much needed stability. This can become a source of frustration for the growth and independence of the adolescent.

Adolescents need to feel security and protection from their parents, not overprotection or excessive control. Sometimes parents feel overwhelmed by the extraordinary energy their children have and start to imposing restrictions. However, young people need stimulus to lead their energy as well as well defined limits, love and acceptance.

When the child has a crisis and the parents respond positively, he learns to trust them. Should parents fail to understand him, or they punish or criticize the child, he will feel guilty, withdraw, and eventually end up feeling lonely. Parents must be there for their children when they are needed, and take their problems seriously, so much so, that their children can feel this accompaniment from their parents.

Types of changes adolescents undergo

Intellectual changes: logical thinking, introspective, analytic, reflexive, sometimes accompanied by an interest in philosophy
Rebellion and a search for identity
Struggles with autonomy, usually by doing the contrary of what parents what them to do.
Sexuality: masturbation, first relationships, and emotional relationships.

Drugs: mainly social drugs like marihuana but can be accompanied by hard drugs in case of family conflict and other
Friends: socialization, seeks to be included and recognized in a group, and changes in his emotional structure.
Understands consequences and accepts responsibility

We can say that the adolences has completed its roll if our child arrives to adulthood with:
1. Good self-esteem
2. The capacity to have emotional intimacy
3. Accept responsibilities
4. Communicate coherently
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