Sexual difficulties are often one of the reasons for which most couples consult with our psychotherapy team. We have seen many times how communication in the couple has a lot to do with how they both feel when in physical intimacy.
We psychologists consider that sexuality is often a thermometer, an indicator of how the relationship is developing. If the relationship is easy and flexible because communication is good and enriching, then, physical intimate relations are usually enriching and satisfactory for both; but if communication is being obstructed by one or various factors, then physical intimacy is often impoverished and deficient.
Another factor which can cause problems to arise in sexual intimacy is some type of stress, pathology or sexual dysfunction in or both members of the couple.
Stress is usually very harmful to a healthy and rich sexuality. Even thought there are areas in our lives in which we may get along with greater success and confidence, we are not different people in our workplace or among our friends or at home. We take our personality, thoughts, emotions and problems with ourselves everywhere we go. And the bed is not an exception. Our sexuality is directly affected by changes and crisis at a professional, social, physical level.
Sexual therapy can be done in individual sessions, when the reasons are due more to a personal issue or in couple, when it appears that the basic reasons of sexual discomfort or unease are rooted in the relationship of the couple.
In Consulterapia, we can also help you with some educational sessions, when there is lack of knowledge about sexuality or some mistaken beliefs about your body or your sexuality.
In what can sexual therapy help me / us?
He can experience the following difficulties:
- Precocious ejaculation
- Impotency or difficulty in keeping the erection
- Lack of libido or low levels of it
- Too much libido (difficulties to control your impulses)
- Fobia to sex, etc.
- Sexual identity problems
She can experience the following difficulties:
- Lack of libido / hipoactive libido
- Lack of lubrication
- Phobia to sex
- Hiperactive libido
- Sexual identity problems
Sexual therapy is not directed towards people or couples which have a sexual dysfunction. The following can also benefit from it:
- Those who wish to improve the quality of their sexual life despite not having a specific problem
- Those who feel the need or wish to complete their sexual education, even if it’s simply making an specific consultation.
- Those who do not enjoy their sexual life for whatever other problem which is not one the sexual dysfunctions mentioned here (lack of sexual self esteem, sexual or affective traumas, difficulties in interacting with others, couple problems, etc.).
How does sexual therapy work?
Sexual therapy consists in a series of techniques and therapeutical strategies which have as an objective to resolve the different problems related with the experience of sexuality of the person or of the affected person.
Given that any sexual problem has an impact on the global wellbeing of the person or the couple, in many cases sexual therapy does not focus just on the sexual problem, but rather on the general wellbeing of each individual, offering a global and integrated vision of the problem.
In Consulterapia we usually also work other aspects of people’s lives who come to therapy: the sexual education received, the beliefs about one´s own sexuality and that of others, one’s own sexuality with himself/herself, with their couple, vital crisis’, traumas and emotional scars, relationships, fears or phobias, work difficulties and all those aspects which may be causing or being affected by the sexual problem.
The first thing which is done is to discard any physical dysfunction, and when we are sure that the difficulty is at psychological level, we begin to analyze the relational and/ or personal aspects which are causing such difficulties.
Processing these difficulties is done through the following techniques:
- Sistemic relational analysis of the couple
- Projective techniques
- Cognitive behavioral techniques
- Gestaltic techniques
- Positive energy
- Narrative psychotherapy